When I am afraid

LORD, when I am afraid, I trust in YOU . . .

I try to hold to YOUR Promises

And I greatly depend on YOU to hold my hand.

It's all I can do. 

This warrior is a child – and as a child, I am stubborn, independent but clingy, moody.

I think I can handle things on my own – in my own way.

We both know that’s wrong – I cannot.

GOD, I need YOU . . . more.

So much more.

When I sit here with YOU, I feel stronger and more confident.

I sense YOUR Presence.

And then, life calls to be lived.

A phone call.

A visit.

A distraction of some kind.

Work to be done here, or away from here.

Real life, online stuff.

So easy to get caught up and feel farther from YOU . . .

But YOUR Promise is that YOU are with me always.

Even to the end of the world.

I just need to be more aware of YOUR Presence . . .

I don’t ever want to turn away from YOU . . .

My memories take me back to when Mandy and Joshua were littles – there were times they sat in my lap, or beside me, even playing under my feet.

Times when i just sat there and let them be.

Then there were times when they would go play in their rooms or outside.

I kept an eye on them, an ear towards them - but I let them play.

I let them be.

And there were times when I needed to do something else, too.

On those times, sometimes they followed me around, sometimes they let me be.

BUT GOD, in all those ways and times – I never forgot about them.

I didn’t leave them in my mind or in my heart – even when my ways took me from them, or theirs from me.

GOD, please . . .

Don't leave me. 

And don't let me let go of YOU . . . 

: Isaiah 41:10 – fear not, for I AM with you; be not dismayed, for I AM your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My Righteous Right Hand.

• LORD GOD, please . . .

: Ephesians 5:7-10 – Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of Light (for the fruit of Light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.

• LORD, help me please . . .

: Psalm 62:5-6 – For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my Hope is from Him. He only is my Rock and my Salvation, my Fortress; I shall not be shaken.

• LORD, I need to do this more. Silence. If not silence in my world, then silence in the midst of chaos - in my heart, mind, soul and being. Please – help me.