Seeking God

LORD, YOU have said that I would find YOU if I seek YOU – with my whole heart.

I want to find YOU . . .

I want to hear YOUR Voice . . .

I want to see YOUR Hand . . .

Please.

As a widow I feel more divided in my heart than I have ever felt in my life. 

With part of me feeling much like I am stuck living in the past - as Rick's wife.

With that resistant part of me living this present life as Rick's widow. 

Living in the world of grief - but also in the world of reality here and now. 

How do I seek YOU with ALL my heart? 

When I am not even sure where, or what, ALL my heart is?

I humbly ask that YOU will sharpen my spiritual eyesight and hearing.

That I may discover and know YOUR Presence with me.

That I may look and listen – for YOU . . .

Oh to find YOU in more and more of my moments.

People say that I miss Rick for me.

And that I only miss him selfishly. 

But I don’t think so.

GOD, even I know my heart better and deeper than that!

I miss his presence in my life.

I miss him.

Yes, I miss all that he did.

But even more – I miss who he was.

GOD, YOU are my Heavenly Husband.

Please – I need YOUR Presence in my life.

More.

Much more.

: Psalm 8:1-4 – O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your Name in all the earth! You have set Your Glory above the heavens. Out of the mouths of babies and infants, You have established strength because of Your foes, to still the enemy and the avenger. When I look at Your heavens, the work of Your Fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set in place, what is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You care for him?

• How Great Thou Art . . . How Great Thou Art!!!!!

: Psalm 19:1-2 – The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims His Handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge.

• LORD, I pray for eyes to see, and ears to hear.

: I Corinthians 6:19-20 – Or do you not know that your body is a Temple of the Holy Spirit within you, Whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a Price. So glorify God in your body.

• LORD, teach me how. And help me do better. Please.

: Jeremiah 29:13 – You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart.

• LORD, please. Teach me how to seek YOU with all my heart. In the midst of chaos and living. Please . . .